the golden ring

photo 14I was doing some filming the other day in Randwick Woods in the last flowering blue bells of this spring.  I took my golden ring off and put it in my bag. My golden ring was bought in 2003 after I became a devotee of Adi Da Samraj and very valuable in all possible ways. It was a symbol for my deep love and commitment to Adi Da Samraj, it always felt like a chosen ‘marriage’ to the Divine.

This day I lost the ring, I had put it into the same pocket as my car keys, and must have accidentally pulled it out with the keys without noticing when I got back to my car with the equipment… for some reason I had a feeling for a while that I wasn’t meant to wear it anymore… but the message hadn’t quite sunk in yet.

So when I couldn’t find it when I got home, I felt I was meant to lose it. I looked for it but couldn’t find it. I was mainly sad because I wanted to pass this significant and very personal piece of jewelry onto my son when I died and I have often spoken to him about that.

My idea was when I physically died… but in some ways I have been through a process of dying…including the  dying of the identification with the relationship to my Spiritual Master as ‘an other’ to relate to in Love. I can not see any separation anymore… now there is only Love, only One.

I sung a song “please dear ring find your way back to my son, find your way back to my son as you belong to him, you belong to him…”

On a practical level I put a sign up by the parking space at the woods with my phone number.

The next day I was ecstatic.

I  created this image called “Happiness Is” and wrote the following poem:

photo 13

the ring of

has no shape

I am home right there, right here, right everywhere, and nowhere too

the ring of gold

was only on loan

for as long as the form of a dearest Beloved was needed

to pull away the clouds of apparent I from the infinite mystery of being
the beyond in all has come to take this body

the beyond in all has come to be what is

the unknowable is here, is me, meets itself again

in the subtlest hello of a meeting that never happened in time and space
the fingers bare

not adorned by any shape of gold anymore

no knowledge to where the gold is lost

just the knowledge it hasn’t been taken from anyone, as there is no-one
I owed my Beloved everything

He has always already owned me.bluebell wood

I offered Him everything

and He has taken


I am swallowed


widely and wildly alive

into timeless, nameless unknowable reality


The following day after writing this poem I received a text message:

I have  found a ring… please call this number. It was that very golden ring…

and guess what… new video to follow…xxx


dance offering at a day intensive with Steve Ford

HenleyI had the wonderful opportunity to offer a dance-poetry-visuals contemplation at a day intensive with Steve Ford on the 30th of April 2016.

It was a very beautiful and in-depth day with him.

From the morning occasion I wrote down two things he said, which stood out to me:

IMG_5193 (1)


“You can not ask the reflection in the mirror to take you home”


“you can not be more than what you already are.”

I deeply connect with the profundity of those two ‘statements’ and I felt they flowed beautifully with my poetry. So I spontaneously interwove them into the offering.

The consideration around art and performance has always been for me to contemplate reality. Reality in the sense that there is no separation.

The remarkable occurrence of creating art in this way is that no shape or form has to be fixed… and work can always flow, breathe, change, take on millions of different forms, is limitless and totally alive… it can not be owned… as long as the communication is non-separation there is no possibility of cultures clashing… anything is possible… any participation in millions of ways.



a vision of ecstatic dance

as a teenager I painted and drew a lot. Especially in school. Somehow the teachers felt I would be better off being allowed to draw in any lesson. In some lessons I even was able to bring paints and brushes… and these were not art lessons.

I liked drawing ecstatic dancers…IMG_0824 they were never entirely physical, solid bodies. Finding these pictures recently in my mother’s attic was exciting for me as they show a lot about my passion for the exploration of dance as an ecstatic expression. At the time of the creation of these images, -being a bored teenager in Grammar School- I wasn’t really aware, that these images were an expression for a yearning for something yet to come.