I am not the greatest fan of linear perception of dates and years, but here are some significant things about my life you may be interested in knowing about:
Since childhood I have explored self-identity through creative means. Poetry and painting were my main creative tools when I was very young. And I always danced and created little performance pieces to entertain myself and my family. I had blissfull experiences at any age I can remember. Seperation and Union were always a creative topic as well as a yearning for global harmony.
I ended up studying Fine Arts in Germany where I was born and then met Liz Aggiss, who offered me a place at Brighton University on the Course “Dance and Visual Practice” in England. I absolutely loved being there. It was the most intense time of searching for truth and the creative process served me with it. Lis Aggiss was incredibly supportive and I was able to really do what I needed to and be myself. The dissertation I wrote at the time was called “Oneness of Being” and part of a first class dance degree.
When the course finished I couldn’t embark on a performance art career though. All possible support was offered to me, yet it didn’t feel right. Firstly I had completely exhausted myself with the intense search for truth and I knew this wasn’t a way of working that is sustainable over time. I also had a need to spend more time around spiritual groups. I travelled to India and vsited numerous sacred places and ashrams.
There was a phase of roughly two years where I was frequently absorbed in different mystical experiences especially asscociated with Lord Krishna and I was hardly able to function as an ordinary person. You may relate to that phase in your life where you consider yourself “almost enlightened” but bizarrely nothing really changes about the way you suffer! I had been seeing Mother Meera regularily during my time at University and dicovered Amma and Adi Da Samraj.
Adi Da’s Teaching I found equally attractive and frightening… when I really dropped into his writing there was no Teacher, no Teaching and no one to be taught left. Eventually I became his devotee. Adi Da gave me so much. The great search ended, because I realised that separation from what one may call god is actually not possible. I realised that mystical experiences are beautiful and ecstatic, but don’t really bring the harmony into life that I was really craving. He taught me the difference between “cosmic bliss” to simply residing in reality right now and right here. I realised that there is no need to go anywhere to be completely at peace. The Mystery of Life is right here and there is only one. Separateness cannot be accomplished for real, as it isn’t real. It never is. It can only be enacted.
It is also Adi Da’s profound poetry that first inspired me to dance profound words. Over the years this practice has evolved into a direct and whole-body invocation of reality as all-pervading oneness and love. at present I primarily either dance my own poetry or simply speak spontaneously from presence, from the heart, from oneness.
To me it is very important to be able to flow freely where creativity takes me, be it in word, movement, visual art or experimental film and I do not fit into any structure or religious pattern of any kind. My artistic and spiritual work is not part of any particular spiritual path. I can only see my own work as totally universal. In fact people from any spiritual path or no spiritual path can be equally inspired and supported by the way I work.